This Is What It's Come To... ?!

It's 3:10 on Saturday afternoon and I am at the OFFICE to avoid going home. Yeah, you read that right. I can't even believe it myself.

We (me, Robert and of course Ashley) were planning on driving down to Gainesville this morning to go to the Hoggetowne Medieval Festival. That's right up my alley and I was looking forward to it. But, when I got up this morning, I started feeling rather ambivalent about it. Especially (and I know this sounds horrible) when I realized that it would be an entire day with Ashley. Eight hours of giggling, complaining, phones calls to and from Mr. Wonderful (the boyfriend), and never-ending stories chronicling the most miniscusule details and events of her day to day life. Can you tell I'm not mother material? Well, I never claimed to be. And never wanted to be. Kids were never in the picture. Just not what I wanted to do with my life. And while, technically, Ashley is not a "kid" (she's 21)... I beg to differ. It's like living with a giggly teenager 24/7. And today I just couldn't do it. I truly felt that the urge to put my hands over my ears and scream "shut the **** up!" might overcome me. So I nixed the Medieval Festival and very casually said that I thought I would have a little afternoon to myself. To Robert, I explained somewhat and said that I really needed some "me time." Which, of course, he was fine with.

So I left the house around 11:00 and went to a local scrap store. I wandered through there for ages - taking my time and enjoying myself. (Used the gift certificates I got for Christmas which made it even better.) From there I took myself to lunch (Arby's where I had my newly-discovered turkey-bacon-ranch wrap which is to-die-for. My 4th one this week - ha!). Then it was on to Jo-Ann's where I endulged in the house brand (Scrap Essentials) embellishments that were all 50% off and used my 40% coupon to get a CK 8x8 album. A little shopping therapy never hurt, right? Around the time I was thinking things were cool again and that I might mosey on home... it happened. Three calls in quick succession - two from Robert and one from Ashley. Can I disappear for just one afternoon? Just one? I'm not some working mom juggling 3 screaming kids who needs Calgon to take her away, dammit. I'm a 37 year old professional woman who should have no issue stepping away from time to time for a little mental health break. I'd been gone for less than 4 hours, for God's sake.

Well, that did it. I was no longer in the mood to "mosey on home" but couldn't figure out where to go. I didn't want to shop any more... so no stores. I'd only eaten lunch an hour before... so no restaurants. The office! It's less than 3 miles from home so it's convenient and I could have some peace and quiet and be alone. But as I sit here I think, "Is this what's it's come to?" Is my own home no longer my refuge? The place where I can close the door behind me and get away from it all? I'm sure these feelings are temporary. I imagine by tomorrow I'll be fine again. But all I can say is that right now, today... I want my life back.