The Weight of the World

I'm a "fixer". And a peacekeeper. Always have been. I don't know if it comes from being the middle child (I've read these are common traits to middle children) or if it's just how I am. I definitely have a tendency to take people's problems on as my own. I worry over it and try to fix whatever is wrong just as if it was my own issue. In many ways this goes against my nature, because I am so not a worrier and tend to have quite the sunny outlook, but there it is just the same. All morning I've felt like something was slightly off, just quietly niggling at me in the back of my mind. And I finally figured out what it is. One of my sisters is skipping tonight's monthly dinner (me, my mom and two sisters meet for dinner once night a month) for a reason that is hard to understand. I won't go into details... because revealing things about myself is one thing but I don't have the right to reveal details about someone else's life. But it's a long standing issue and one that is not likely to change. And it makes me sad. Simple as that. It's something that weighs me down from time to time and I wish I could simply shake it off with the knowledge that it is simply not something I can control or change. But... it's my sister. There's no shaking that off. When something is bothering someone I love... I want to fix it. Can't help it... that's me. But this one - I'm going to have to find a way to set it down and stop carrying it with me.