Family (Re)Connections

It's amazing how so much good can come from something bad. Last Tuesday night we got the call that we had been expecting for almost more than 2 weeks. Robert's grandmother had passed away. It can't be a shock when someone who is 101 years old passes away... but it's still a loss. We left for North Carolina Wednesday morning - calling Robert's two older children (who live in NC) while in route. Shannon told us that she wouldn't be able to take leave from work with such short notice (which was totally understandable). And at first, Jason told us the same thing. But he called back later to say that he had managed to get Friday off and he and his wife Kristin would be driving over after work on Thursday night. Robert was just thrilled.

We got a call from Robert's brother Andy on the way inviting us to a gathering of their church group that night. His son James would be speaking about his mission work in Pakistan over the last 5 months. We got into Fayetteville and had just enough time to check into our hotel, change clothes and get to restaurant. It was held in the meeting hall behind the restaurant. Little did I know that it was practically going to be a church service. Not that I wouldn't have went... but it was still a little odd. Dinner was catered (good ol' North Carolina barbecue) and James gave his presentation. He just got back from Pakistan two weeks ago and was leaving in a couple days for a year in Cambodia. I don't necessarily understand that kind of commitment, but I do respect and admire it.

On Thursday Robert and I did a lot of running around. Just by ourselves, though. We found the Fayetteville Mall and did some shopping and did a lot of driving around seeing how much had changed since Robert lived there (many moons ago, before he joined the Navy). That evening was the viewing at the funeral home. We were the first ones there. Robert's father and his wife were on their way from about 2 hours away and we didn't want them to be there with no one else around. Over the next couple hours I met more people that I thought possible. What a huge family... I had no idea! Her obituary stated that she 27 grandchildren, 50+ great grandchildren and more than 10 great great grandchildren. And I think they were all in attendance... and then some. And I met more people with two names than I have in my life: Etta Mae, Cora Mae, Donald Ray, Gary Lee, Eva Joyce... it was getting almost comical. The shock of the evening came when Robert's sister-in-law (Andy's wife) came over and said there was someone he needed to see. Two young women were standing there. Robert broke down as soon as he saw them. I guessed who they were... David's daughters.

Robert is/was one of three sons. Back in 1979 (I think it was '79) his brother David was murdered. At the time David was 26 years old, married, with two little girls - Shelley and Jamie. Over the years, after David's death, his widow eventually met someone else and the family slowly lost contact with the girls. Robert has not seen them since his own mother's funeral, almost 18 years ago. But Robert recognized them immediately. He said Shelley looked exactly like David. It was just heartbreaking to see them all together. So happy to be reconnected, but also feeling such a sense of loss. I think it brought a lot of his feelings of loss for David back to him.

We spent the rest of the evening with the girls - they're both married and one of them has 3 children. Later on Jason called to say that he and Kristin were in town so we left to go meet them and take them out to a late dinner. But not before making sure that we would see the girls the next day at the funeral and would swap contact info them. Dinner with Jason and Kristin was just wonderful. It was my first time meeting Jason and I liked him immediately. What an incredible person. And it's obvious that he is crazy about Kristin. What a great couple. She is expecting their first child in April. We gave them the baby gifts we had bought that afternoon and they both seemd thrilled with them. We had dinner at Smithfield's (more North Carolina barbecue) and it was fun to sit back and watch the banter between Robert and Jason. I see so many similarities. Not in their looks, but in their personalities. Incredible.

Friday was the funeral. Robert had been asked to be a pallbearer and I know that wasn't easy for him. He's such a softie and wears his heart on his sleeve so much of the time. After a service at the church and then a brief service at the cemetary it was over. We took pictures with Shelley and Jamie before everyone left and made sure we exchanged phone numbers and addresses. They had also brought copies of a couple pictures of David to give to Robert and that meant the world to him. We then took Jason and Kristin out to a late lunch before they headed home. Had a wonderful time with them and also got a great photo of Robert, Jason and Kristin outside the restaurant. We let them know that we would be coming back up to North Carolina when the baby is born.

That night we had a late dinner (one more chance for NC barbecue - lol) before heading home Saturday morning. We both woke up at dark-thirty and decided to go ahead and hit the road. I think it was just before 5:30 when we got on 1-95. We'd had an amazing visit but were ready to go home. The circumstances for us being there were sad, but it was just fantastic to see all of Robert's family - especially meeting his son (and his wife) and his nieces for the first time. I'm already looking forward to when we will see them again.