2005 In Review

I am so loving this layout that I just had to share. I started it last month at my January BOM class and just finished it on Monday by adding photos and journaling. My friend Kimberly who teaches the BOM class is so freakin' talented and I am just in awe of her. The girl has been published and that just impresses the heck out of me. =) I love the idea of the year in review page. And it was fun doing a mental recap of the year and deciding what events and happenings to include in the layout. It was quite a year we had! =)

Regroup and Refocus

We put our regular Sunday night weigh-in off until Monday night this past week. Got home late on Sunday evening and just didn't bother with it. Monday's weigh-in results: a 2 lb. weight gain. I wasn't particularly surprised. I knew it had been a rough week. I made a few allowances here and there but my main issue was overeating. It wasn't even that I was eating "bad" or off-program foods. But I was eating too much and I knew it. Even too much of the good stuff can be a bad thing. Calories are calories, whether they're coming from ice cream or celery. :-) So, I can't even say that I was too upset by it. I expected it. And I did it to myself. So there you go. Instead of wallowing in misery (lol) I decided it was time to regroup and refocus and make this week a better one. I'm drinking lots more water (I also slacked on that last week - too many diet black cherry vanilla Cokes). And I'm watching portion sizes. It feels good to know that I caught that little backslide quickly and got back on track right away. Yea me. :-) Apparently I really have developed some new habits. I do so many things without thinking now. Drinking water, ordering diet instant of regular soft drink at restaurants, eating mid-morning/mid-afternoon snacks (cheese, veggies, sugar-free Jello, etc.). It's a good feeling. And I need to remember these "small victories" that are making a difference in my health even when the scale doesn't show it.

Mixed Emotions

Ashley talked to us last night and let us know that she wants to move to Georgia to be with the boyfriend. That certainly didn't come as a shock but I do have mixed emotions about it. On one hand, I truly feel that it would be a mistake at this point. It's too soon. Yes, this "relationship" has been going on for six months or more, but it's a long distance relationship. The visits are few and far between. It's not the same as truly dating someone for six months and knowing them. Because of the long-distance aspect, they're constantly in the"honeymoon phase" every time they see each other. And, not to sound unromantic, that's not real life. Just being practical. There are scores of reasons why her moving up there at this point would be a bad idea. Scores. And we shared our thoughts with her while letting her know we were not trying to be negative and "rain on her parade." Nor do we want this fail. We are just trying to be the voice of reason since her lack of age and maturity seem to be behind her decision-making process at this point. To her credit, she did seem to listen. I doubt it will sway her one iota, but we had our say.

All that being said, my feelings of concern over what I am sure is a catastrophe in the making are tinged with a little relief. I have to be honest and say that part of me thinks, "Yes! I will get my life back!" Selfish, I know... but I'm being honest here. It's been over four months now with Ashley living with us and for the most part I think I adjusted very well. And quickly, too. But God knows there are times when I just want things to be the way they were before. The way Robert and I always have been. Just the two of us. I miss that... I really do.

I guess we'll see what happens. She stopped short of saying that this was definite. She just said that she was 'seriously thinking about it.' I'm sure it's more than thinking, though. That was her way of setting the stage for her exit. This is a fait accompli. And I definitely have mixed emotions.

Week 5

Monday started Week 5 since my weight loss/get healthy plan started and I'm trucking on along. Sunday night (the end of Week 4) was weigh-in night and I was down another 2.5 pounds. That's a total of 15 pounds! Yea me! =) Robert and Ashley are doing well, too (losing 16 and 13 pounds respectively).

You know, I was kind of wavering last night on whether or not to get on the treadmill. I had done 30 minutes on Monday night and really didn't feel like doing it last night. Yesterday was a grueling day at work (not bad just insanely busy and exhausting) and I really just wanted to kick back last night. Look at a scrap magazine... watch American Idol and House... go to bed early. So I decided to skip the treadmill. Later in the evening I started feeling a little guilty thinking I really should have been exercising instead of slacking off and being lazy. And then I had one of my little 'moments of clarity.' I tend to be so hard on myself. I often get frustrated with anything that I perceive as 'lacking' or 'less than perfect.' And I really need to stop every now and then and give myself a pat on the back for all the things that I'm doing right! Because goodness knows I'm quick to beat up on myself now and then when I feel like I've screwed up. When I stop to think about it, I've made some pretty awesome changes over the last month. I never exercised before... and now I'm on the treadmill several times a week at 30 minutes a pop. I rarely drank water before... now it's almost all I drink throughout the day (I do allow myself to have diet Coke at dinner). I used to truly overindulge in all those yummy but less-than-nutritionally-helpful carbs like pasta, potatoes and rice. Now I focus more on lean meats, veggies, and some fruit and when I do have bread it's a whole-grain sugar-free bread. I'm doing a lot right! Every day I'm making choices that are having a positive effect on my health. And many of these choices aren't necessarily conscious ones since (apparently) they have become habits. Even better! So I'm going to make a point to remember all the good that I am doing instead of focusing on the few things that still need a little work. With 15 pounds gone... obviously I am doing something right. =) And I need to remember that.

Bye-bye Pounds

I just realized that I haven't updated on my weight loss efforts since January 15th, which was the end of Week 1. Time for a recap...

Week 2 (which ended on the January 22rd) was just as good as far as eating and exercise go but none of us had a loss. In fact, two of us gained. Ashley stayed the same, Robert gained half a pound and I gained 1 pound. Robert and I definitely took it in stride but I think Ashley was a bit discouraged. Robert and I had such significant losses the first week that we expected very little if anything that second week. Plus, the two of us have been workout fiends on the treadmill and that can make a difference. We’re building muscle. And since muscle weighs more than fat… there you go. Plus, we’ve done this before and we know that weight just naturally fluctuates sometimes. You can follow your program to the letter and sometimes the scale just won’t budge but the next week you’ll drop 5 lbs. So, we were rather prosaic about it. We tried to be very positive and say that we all weigh less than when we started so there was nothing to be discouraged about! Anyway, that ended Phase 1 (the restrictive sugar-detox phase) and we moved into Phase 2. We were able to start adding the “good carbs” back in. I was so excited to be able to have a sandwich for lunch (on whole-grain sugar-free bread, of course). How pitiful is that? =) But I really love sandwiches and hadn’t been able to have any bread for the previous two weeks.

This past Sunday the 29th ended Week 3 and, just as Robert and I predicted, the losses caught up with us. I dropped another 4 pounds for a total loss so far of 12.5 pounds. Whoo-hoo! I tell ya, I’m not even particularly struggling with this. Like I said previously, something has clicked this time and I’m just “in the zone.” I’m not truly tempted by anything, I don’t have the urge to “cheat.” I just made up my mind that I was making these changes and would be eating better and that was that. I can’t tell you how proud I am of myself. =)